Chapter 003: You Store Reviewers Are So Annoying

After the meeting, everyone returned to their desks, resuming their phone games, leaving behind only the three-person team, heavy with resentment.

Lin Yu had already anticipated being unable to escape this assignment, so he took it in stride. Wu Miaoran, however, looked utterly dejected, having lost all interest in her usual beauty routine. After a cursory touch-up, she joined the others in Qin Qisan’s car, heading toward Jinju Snacks.

Their moods were even more turbulent than the ride itself. Qin Qisan had a bad driving habit: whenever he saw another car ahead, he reflexively tapped the brakes. As the driver, he didn’t mind, but his passengers suffered, their bodies swaying as though adrift on the sea—it was enough to make anyone carsick.

Lin Yu clung tightly to the overhead handle, but even that couldn’t save him. Fighting back nausea, he said, “Old Third, it’s a pity you don’t drive for the big boss… You make this little jalopy feel like a luxury yacht. The ride’s every bit as thrilling as a cruise—ugh…” He couldn’t hold it anymore and rolled down the window.

“How about it? Isn’t my driving awesome?” Qin Qisan preened, tossing his hair. “Don’t be fooled by the fact that I’ve only had my license for three months. I’ve been driving go-karts since I was five! Back then, they were just bumper cars, but the park owner always praised my skills.”

“Yeah, but it’s a bit hard on the car,” Wu Miaoran muttered, lips pursed.

“No, it’s hard on the passengers,” Lin Yu rolled his eyes skyward.

“Come on, man, you’re just being picky. Everyone at the driving school knows how good I am. My instructor didn’t want me to leave! When I got my license, he tried to buy me a drink, holding my hand and crying about how he’d miss me.”

“Of course,” Lin Yu replied, “since you started, you totaled half their battered Jettas. The new cars you had to compensate them with are enough to supply the whole school—they should thank you.”

“Whatever…” Qin Qisan waved dismissively and braked sharply again.

Meanwhile, in the front seat, Wu Miaoran was perfunctorily replying to a persistent boss on her phone. She glanced at the dwindling time left for this assignment and grumbled, “This time-limited task only gives a thirty-thousand yuan bonus and a twenty-day reduction on our contract. That’s not even a fraction of what I make from a single livestream. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.”

“Don’t complain, princess,” Lin Yu sighed. “If I had the chance to do it over, I’d have quit from the start. Besides, time is priceless—a twenty-day reduction is nothing to sneeze at.”

“Oh really? You’d quit? Didn’t the boss say you volunteered for this? No one forced you. Me, before everything went wrong, my days were filled with song, dance, and excess. Now look at me—working for someone else. No, not just someone—working for vampires!” Qin Qisan lamented.

“Couldn’t agree more,” Wu Miaoran said, sighing as well.

Chatting all the while, they soon arrived at the entrance to Pasadena Residences.

The entrance gate was in poor shape; the barrier arm had snapped and was held together with thick tape. Outside, many public parking spots stood empty, some overgrown with weeds—a scene of neglect.

After getting out, Qin Qisan retrieved their filming gear, fastening it securely around his waist and head. Wu Miaoran clipped a square Bluetooth mic to her collar, while Lin Yu carried a small shoulder bag. The three of them strode into the complex.

There was no electronic security. The old man at the entrance, sitting on a sofa, didn’t even have a proper guard booth. He was engrossed in a game of chess and paid them no mind.

Pasadena Residences, built in 2003, was an old, haphazardly designed community. The outermost buildings were sixteen stories high, while the inner ones were six stories. Oddly, the building numbers weren’t consecutive—Building 1 was flanked by 7 and 12, and the arrangement was diagonal rather than linear.

Wu Miaoran, growing dizzy from the winding paths, panted, “What kind of crazy place is this? The building numbers aren’t even next to each other. Are they trying to drive delivery drivers mad?”

“Heh, you don’t get it,” Qin Qisan replied. “When they built this place, the location was unusual. In ancient times, this was a water prison for serious offenders. Later, during the Japanese invasion, it became a concentration camp where many people suffered. Originally, it was supposed to be preserved as a cultural site, but for some reason the whole thing was bulldozed. After the founding of the country, it lay abandoned until 2003, when it was finally redeveloped. Locals said the place had bad feng shui and avoided living here, so the developer picked this name for the complex—a pun meaning ‘What’s there to be afraid of?’”

He paused, pointing to the rusted sign for Building 4. “But you know, a new name can’t change bad luck. The feng shui here is so odd, the master who designed it arranged the buildings into a protective formation. All those sculptures around? Those are crucial points in the formation. The building numbers each have special meaning, so they aren’t in order. The tall buildings on the outer edge form a barrier against evil, protecting the inner low-rises. Notice how the cars parked under the high-rises are ordinary, but those under the low-rises are luxury models? That’s because living in the outer ring, constantly surrounded by bad energy, makes it hard for a family to prosper.”

Lin Yu yawned, still a bit dizzy. “All right, old third, with those skills you should set up a fortune-telling stall—might make more than these shop reviews.”

“Don’t laugh! At the end of science is metaphysics. These are the treasures left by our ancestors! After all we’ve been through, has anything been explainable by science alone?” Qin Qisan protested.

“I still believe in science,” Lin Yu replied, pursing his lips.

“Okay, okay, let’s get moving! Come on, let’s record an opening segment!” Wu Miaoran said, signaling Qin Qisan to adjust the camera.

“Got it!” Qin Qisan straightened up, while Lin Yu stepped out of the shot.

Facing the camera, Wu Miaoran smiled as she walked and said, “There are thousands of shop review videos, but the best are always full of wonder. Today, following a viewer’s tip, I’ve found a unique little eatery. The owner is said to be as fiery as the dishes—let’s see how the food measures up! Come on, let’s check it out!”

“Perfect! Nailed it in one take!” Qin Qisan gave a thumbs-up.

“Are you sure? The comments said you shake the camera a lot. Want to watch it back?” Wu Miaoran asked, unconvinced.

“Relax, princess. With my flight-attendant posture, I’m steadier than John Woo,” Qin Qisan said confidently.

Opening segment recorded, the trio continued deeper into the complex, filming as they went.

Thanks to a previous shop review and the address provided by Sumi Duo, they quickly found Jinju Snacks.

Jinju Snacks was at Building 9 on the outer high-rise ring. The outer wall looked as if it had just been repainted, but the patchy black stains in the whitewash resembled clusters of eerie little figures, exuding an air of decay.

Several windows displayed “For Sale” or “Low Price” signs, while the hallway walls were thick with mold, overtaking layers of wild advertisements. The smell of mildew was so strong that Wu Miaoran put on a mask, frowning. “Are we sure we’re in the right place? It doesn’t look like there’d be a restaurant here—it’s filthy.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Qin Qisan replied. “Nowadays, these unassuming hole-in-the-wall spots are the trend—makes it feel like you’re eating at a private kitchen.”

Just then, Lin Yu, ever sharp-eyed, spotted an open red door at the stairwell’s bend, with three slop buckets outside. He pointed, “Hey, isn’t that Jinju Snacks? It’s right there! I saw a review video—the entrance is that door with the buckets.”

“What? Quick, old third, get the camera!” Wu Miaoran smoothed her hair, signaling for a close-up.

Qin Qisan adjusted the camera as Wu Miaoran strode toward the door, smiling. “Ahem, the best food needs no flashy location! Looks like today’s find is really tucked away. This complex is a maze, and the shop doesn’t even have a proper sign. But that’s what makes private kitchens so authentic, hidden in old neighborhoods like this. Let’s hurry in and try it—mmm, I can smell the aroma from here. My cravings are about to run wild.”

Before she could finish, a burly man appeared, carrying a slop bucket. He slammed it down with a clang, eyed them as if they were fools, and rolled his eyes. “Great, more shop reviewers, huh?”

Though the man was intimidating, Qin Qisan stood his ground. “Hey, big guy, show a little respect for our profession! Why the insults right off the bat?”

The man set the bucket down, folded his arms, and sneered, “What’s wrong with you people? Always sneaking in through the back instead of using the main entrance. You make a perfectly normal restaurant look like a scene from a horror movie. And what’s this about smelling the food from afar? What—you hungry for slop? Want me to whip up a pot of stinky tofu and snail noodles with extra durian for you?”

The three of them stood frozen, petrified on the spot. Only now did they realize—the “mysterious back door” featured in the shop review video was, in fact, just the kitchen’s garbage exit.