Chapter 6: The Knife-Blocking White Moonlight Who Returned from the Dead (Part Five)

Qingyuan was stunned by her words, frozen in place, every muscle in his body tense. The silence stretched on for a long time before he finally spoke in a hoarse voice, “Senior Sister, when you took that blade for me, was it truly only because I could contribute more in the great battle?”

Without hesitation, Tushan Xi nodded. “The great battle concerned the lives of everyone. If we failed, the entire Immortal Realm would have fallen under the shadow of the Demon Realm. We all knew what that would mean, even before the fighting began. As a healer, my absence would not have changed the tide. But you were different. You were one of the few who could truly turn the situation around. With you alive, our chances improved; without you, they diminished. That difference—however small—could decide victory or defeat. In your place, would you have chosen differently?”

Her words, nearly devoid of sentiment, made Qingyuan feel as though the sky itself was collapsing. The spiritual energy surging within him grew ever more chaotic, and the flowers blooming in the room withered in an instant, robbed of their vitality.

He looked up at her, his tone pleading, “Senior Sister, was that truly all? Not even a glimmer of any other reason?”

Seeing his reddened eyes and humble posture, Tushan Xi’s own heart ached. After all, he was the child she had watched over from the moment he entered the sect. Over the years, she had seen Qingyuan grow from a boy to the young man before her. How could she claim to feel nothing for him?

But she had always regarded him only as a younger brother.

It was true that she had saved him for the reasons she stated, but even more so because she could not bear to watch him die before her eyes. Yet...

Tushan Xi looked up and saw his hollow expression. She steeled herself with a silent vow: Qingyuan must never know the truth. Otherwise, the forbidden thoughts lingering in his heart would surely grow.

She was his senior sister and would remain so all her life—nothing more.

Just as she was about to speak, Qingyuan interrupted her. “No, it’s impossible! Senior Sister, you must be lying! Ever since Master brought me up from the mortal world, you’ve cared for me, taught me everything. My first breath of spiritual energy, my first formation of a golden core, my first journey to the secret realm, even my first tribulation—you were always there by my side.”

As he spoke, his emotions became more agitated. He grasped her arms with desperation. “You accompanied me through so many of my firsts—was it really only out of sibling affection?”

Compared to Qingyuan’s contorted expression, Tushan Xi remained calm even as he gripped her arms tightly. “If it weren’t for that bond between senior sister and junior brother, I would not have saved you.”

“I don’t believe you!” Qingyuan stared fiercely at her, searching for any sign of doubt on her face. But the gentle smile she so often wore had vanished, replaced by a coldness that chilled him to the bone.

He was the first to break, releasing his hold and staggering back, dazed and lost. “Senior Sister, please, don’t look at me like that. I beg you, don’t look at me that way.”

No, she couldn’t look at him with such eyes. She had always been the gentlest, the one who cared for him most in this world—how could she look at him so now?

Freed at last from his grip, Tushan Xi took a step back. “Qingyuan, I was the first disciple Master ever accepted. It was my duty and responsibility to look after all of you younger disciples. When you first joined the sect, you were barely five or six, orphaned and alone. Master was rough and unrefined, so I took it upon myself to guide you. In my heart, you are no different from the other junior brothers and sisters—good siblings, nothing more. Everything I did for you, I did for them as well. There is nothing special about it.”

Qingyuan, lost in grief, heard something in her words that made him look up slowly. “So I am truly just a younger brother to you? Nothing more?”

“What else could you be? Or do you see me as your mother?”

“No! I… I clearly…”

He clearly saw her as the faith that sustained him, the driving force that spurred him onward. Without her, he would never have thrown himself into cultivation, never risked his life in secret realms during the war. Everything he had done was, at its core, to bring her back to life.

No, he could not let her misunderstand him any longer. He had to make his feelings clear.

But before he could speak, Tushan Xi’s gaze grew sharp. “Qingyuan, if you allow yourself any improper thoughts, don’t blame me for severing our bond as fellow disciples.”

“Senior Sister?” Qingyuan stared at her, stunned, never having imagined she would say such words to him.

Perhaps he remained silent for too long, for Tushan Xi’s expression softened. “Qingyuan, you are my junior, and always my younger brother. No matter what you do, you will always be my junior brother. No one can change that.”

Looking into her resolute eyes, Qingyuan finally understood that she had already guessed the thoughts he dared not voice. Her words were both a warning and a reminder: if he could return to how things once were, their bond would remain; but if he took even a single step beyond, it would be cut.

Understanding this, Qingyuan forced himself to rally. “I understand, Senior Sister. Please, don’t abandon me.”

Hearing his pitiful tone, Tushan Xi knew he had grasped her meaning and was willing to retreat to his rightful place. Seeing him yield, her heart softened—for he was, after all, the child she had raised.

“How could I abandon you? In this world, you are now my only fellow disciple.”

“Yes, if even Senior Sister abandons me, I will truly have no one left in this world.”

Tushan Xi smiled. Seeing the tension ease, she spoke again. “Qingyuan, since you have already wronged Xiyun, you must now sincerely seek her forgiveness. Both you and I owe her a life. Such a debt must be repaid.”

Having finally regained her favor, Qingyuan agreed readily, “Don’t worry, Senior Sister. I’ll gather some medicinal herbs to help her recover.”

He thought this would suffice, but Tushan Xi’s eyes flashed. “That is only what you should do. And beyond that?”

“Beyond that?” Qingyuan was puzzled, a trace of impatience in his brow. “What more could she want?”

“Apologize, ask Xiyun what compensation she desires. Listen to me, Xiyun has suffered greatly this time—you must apologize properly. If she does not forgive you, I will not forgive you either.”

“Senior Sister—”

“Qingyuan, I will not yield on this matter. You must do what is right.”

With that, she turned away, her sleeves flicking as she left, leaving Qingyuan alone in the room, seething with helpless anger.

“Xiyun, Xiyun, why is Senior Sister only thinking of Xiyun now? Who does she think she is?”