Chapter Twenty-Two: Strands of Silk, Strands of Sentiment

Although Luo Yunyao was weak, she still struggled to keep her eyes open and glare at him. She was furious that he had completely ignored her words, yet injured and bedridden, she lacked the strength to lecture him.

Moreover, she was truly thirsty.

Qin Jinghao, under her glare, feigned ignorance and let out a soft, nasal "Hmm?"

Luo Yunyao shifted, and every cell in her body seemed to cry out in pain. Perhaps it was because she was near him, but she felt exceptionally delicate. Qin Jinghao seemed unable to grasp that she needed to sit up to drink water, and she was unable to do so on her own. She glared at him until her eyes ached. A wave of grievance washed over her; she felt she had just spoken to him so earnestly that she had moved herself, yet he remained unmoved. With a muffled grunt, she turned her head away.

Qin Jinghao sat at the edge of the bed, reached out, and gently turned her head so she had to face him. His lips curled slowly into something resembling a smile. With an indulgent tone, he asked, "Unable to drink, so you’re aggrieved?"

Tears pooled in Luo Yunyao’s large eyes. She huffed and choked out, "That’s not it. I don’t want your help."

Ever since she had woken up, while seeing Qin Jinghao brought her peace of mind, it also brought a deeper sense of unease.

He knew she was a woman.

From a national standpoint, she was a person of Biluo, having disguised herself as a man to deceive the throne and seek a position in Western Qin. Although she had done nothing wrong, the saying went, "Those who are not of our kin have different hearts." She feared Qin Jinghao might think this way. At the same time, she hoped he would ask for her reasons, forgive her, and believe in her integrity.

From an emotional standpoint, she knew she had fallen hopelessly in love with this jade-like man. He was cold and distant, yet incomparably warm and attentive. Love had arrived without her knowing, deep and profound. In the countless days of secret longing, she had cautiously tested him. She could confirm he had feelings for her, but she did not know if they were the feelings of a brother or a lover. If the former, could she, a woman, maintain that bond and transform it into love? If the latter... did Qin Jinghao truly like men? Her gender was wrong—could he leave a window open for her? Yet, shamelessly, she hoped that he would be happy she was a woman and that he had been suppressing his own feelings for her.

Luo Yunyao had always carefully guarded her secret, selfishly hoping to hide it one day at a time, living in a constant state of contradiction—fearful yet expectant.

Finally, the facade had been torn away, revealing the truth.

Regardless of the outcome or what lay ahead, Luo Yunyao waited for his final judgment.

Yet, from start to finish, he had not uttered a single word about the issue that should have been addressed first. He seemed completely uninterested in her gender.

Luo Yunyao waited in anxiety, eventually falling into despair. The cruelest judgment is silence, leaving one to endlessly imagine the worst.

All the possibilities and explanations she had considered were useless.

Luo Yunyao found him detestable for reaching a conclusion without saying a word. She was deeply aggrieved, but her complex thoughts had nowhere to be voiced, and now it seemed she couldn't speak of her grievances at all.

Qin Jinghao watched as she looked at him with tear-filled, wronged eyes, biting her lip, appearing both fragile and stubborn. He knew she must be overthinking again. He sighed softly, realizing he had frightened the woman he held in his heart. He took a sip of water and, while she stood frozen, eyes wide and brimming with tears, he leaned down and kissed her lips.

Qin Jinghao carefully pried open her teeth and passed the warm water from his mouth to hers. Seeing her stunned expression, he restrained his desire to linger and taste her lips further.

He stood up, indifferent to the state of his clean, exquisite robes, and wiped the corner of her mouth with his sleeve. His movements were as gentle as his voice: "So, you couldn't drink? I’ll drink for you."

The words carried a double meaning, both incredibly intimate.

Luo Yunyao stared at him blankly, still speechless.

Qin Jinghao didn't mind. He continued slowly, "Now that we have kissed, Yaoyao, you are mine. Or perhaps, I am yours."

To him, it made no difference. As a world-renowned general, one would expect him to be chauvinistic, but Luo Yunyao should be grateful that his parents were deeply in love and equal, having raised a good husband.

Qin Jinghao gazed at her with affection. "I love you, the person you are, nothing else. I fell for you a long time ago."

He continued to ease her worries about her gender, speaking naturally and with a voice as pleasant as reading fine prose: "I don't know why you disguised yourself as a man and traveled thousands of miles to Western Qin to seek an official post. While I am curious, it is merely because I am curious about everything regarding you. But as for this matter..." He picked up a strand of her hair that had fallen onto the bed, "...if you wish to tell me, I shall listen. If you do not, I will never ask. Whatever you wish to do, I will help you; you need not tell me the reason." He sniffed the hair at his fingertips. "I know Yaoyao would never do anything evil. My Yaoyao is the best girl there is."

He finally let go of the strand, carefully placing it beside her. "Look, you were injured, and I kept watch all night. In the future, if you suffer any harm, I don't know what I might do. Yaoyao..." His eyes, which usually held only the scenery like green bamboo, were now fixed intently on her.

Luo Yunyao felt as if she were being drawn into them. She heard him continue, as if coaxing her: "Can you bear it?"

Luo Yunyao closed her eyes to refuse the temptation.

She could not describe her feelings upon hearing his words.

This man, usually cold and sparing with words, had bared his heart. His words were not flowery, but each one struck her heart directly.

Luo Yunyao felt her heart could bear no more, yet she shamelessly and greedily wanted to taste that indescribable sensation of a racing heart once more. "Say it again."

Qin Jinghao had said so much, yet strangely, they shared a telepathic connection.

He spoke slowly, each word imbued with infinite emotion, deep and sincere: "Qin Jinghao loves Luo Yunyao."

Luo Yunyao opened her eyes abruptly and spoke almost simultaneously: "Luo Yunyao also loves Qin Jinghao."

They gazed at each other, until Luo Yunyao conceded, lowering her lashes with a playful reproach: "We look like two fools."

"Acting like a fool is what Yaoyao requested."

"..."

Luo Yunyao, without the slightest hesitation, poured everything out: "Actually, I have no courtesy name. My father has not yet given me one. My real name is Luo Yunyao; 'Yao' as in the precious jade." She recalled a phrase she had once read: if someone lies to you even about their name, then there is nothing about them worth believing. She looked at Qin Jinghao with guilt, only to find him wearing the expression of one who was committing her name to memory. Her heart warmed, but fearing he would notice her vulnerability, she quickly lowered her lashes to hide her gaze.

"As you guessed, I am the Eldest Princess of Biluo. When I was ten, Biluo suffered a natural disaster, and that same year, Tiansheng invaded. The following year, Biluo surrendered and became a vassal state. My father died, my mother perished, my brothers died for the country, and my sisters were sold into slavery. Strangely, I survived. I lived under the name of my foster father—the man I call father now, the former Minister of War of Biluo, Luo Zhongming." Gradually, Luo Yunyao found it wasn't difficult to speak in this detached, indifferent tone, as if telling someone else's story. "As the Eldest Princess, neither I nor my foster father could let Biluo—once one of the three great empires—remain a mere vassal state. I studied the classics and the art of statecraft. I disguised myself as a man to come to Western Qin to study their institutions and see if I could..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Find allies. Yes, it's ridiculous. Who would care about an irrelevant, lifeless country that has already fallen?" She looked up and smiled gently. "But fate is always so mysterious. I think I have truly found one."

Qin Jinghao listened quietly as she continued, "I am blessed by fortune, Qin Jinghao, to have met you."

The fall of Biluo had been a topic of conversation for years. Qin Jinghao naturally knew of it. He had been a young boy then, and beyond some shallow thoughts about the power dynamics between Western Qin and Tiansheng, he had felt little else.

He had no idea that the most important person in his life had lived through that time in darkness, blood, and despair.

Qin Jinghao felt a deep ache for her, yet he was helpless. He even hated his past self and those bygone days. If he had appeared earlier, she might have suffered less.

"I am sorry I did not enter your life sooner."

Luo Yunyao reached out with effort and covered his hand with hers. "You have the nerve to tell me I was overthinking, yet look at you." Her pale cheeks held a smile as gentle as the morning sun. "There is a saying that goes something like: meeting you, neither too early nor too late, is just right—it is the greatest beauty in the world." She blinked, a spark of mischief in her eyes. "We are just the right kind of beautiful."