Twenty-seven

Chapter 27: You Have Fallen

Since Cheng Zhizuan had issued an official notice yesterday appointing the newly minted top scholar, Duan Mingyu, to reinvestigate the Wan Yongchang case, Ji Yunyi did not go to the Huibin Restaurant today, but instead waited specifically at her own doorstep for his arrival.

When Duan Mingyu stood before her, shouldering a massive halberd, Ji Yunyi was struck with nothing but shock. She was stunned; were scholars not supposed to be refined and gentle, lacking the strength to truss a chicken? How was this fellow...

Duan Mingyu was equally stunned, for Ji Yunyi’s décolletage was truly profound. That hurried glance from the other day had missed such a magnificent vista—a mistake, a grave mistake indeed!

Zhang San and Li Si coughed in unison, snapping them both back to reality.

"I never imagined the top scholar would be so proficient in both letters and arms. I am truly impressed!" Ji Yunyi said with a curtsy.

Duan Mingyu’s old face flushed red. He lowered the heavy halberd from his shoulder, propping it against the ground, and cupped his fists. "You flatter me, Madam Ji." Before he could finish, the halberd began to slowly topple toward her. Duan Mingyu hurriedly grabbed it. "My apologies for startling you, Madam. I believe I had best keep carrying it."

Ji Yunyi smiled sweetly. "Indeed, I was a little startled. Oh? Is the top scholar blushing? Please, relax. Do come in and have some tea; I have been awaiting your arrival for quite some time."

Damn it, the same words sounded completely different when spoken by a woman. Whether she meant "startled" or something else entirely, it was truly a matter worth pondering!

Duan Mingyu tightened his lower body; it was a lethal temptation. He hurriedly struggled to control his emotions, pulling in his stomach, clenching his glutes, venting his frustration, and mentally reciting the national anthem.

Li Si followed behind Duan Mingyu, whispering in a voice just loud enough for him to hear, "Heh, Master Duan, stay steady. You must stay steady."

Duan Mingyu patted his chest. "Rest assured, I can hold it together."

Ji Yunyi looked back at him, asking in confusion, "What was it that the top scholar said he could hold together?"

The spine that Duan Mingyu had just straightened instantly slumped. "I meant that I can keep this halberd steady."

*Sigh*, one wonders how Madam Ji remains so youthful and beautiful despite being over thirty. Who knows if she uses cucumber slices or facial treatments? Probably not; it must be all-natural, Duan Mingyu thought to himself.

"Hey, Zhang San, look at that young lady on the swing. Isn't she a beauty?" Li Si’s eyes lit up as they passed through the courtyard.

Zhang San tapped Li Si on the head with his sword hilt. "You don't even know? That is the only daughter of the late Master Wan Yongchang, Wan Yanyan. Tsk, look at those eyes and that nose; she truly is the beloved daughter of Madam Ji. You have high hopes, kid. Even if Miss Wan isn't betrothed yet, is she someone you can dream about? But the two maidservants beside her are quite charming; let's split them between us." Just like that, Zhang San and Li Si verbally divided the two maids.

Duan Mingyu gave them each a sharp flick to the forehead. "Can't you two show some dignity? Stop embarrassing me here. Where is Miss Wan? Point her out to me quickly!"

Zhang San and Li Si: "..."

Duan Mingyu looked closely; the woman on the swing was likely the legendary Miss Wan Yanyan.

Wan Yanyan wore a pale pink gown, her hair falling naturally with a jade hairpin tucked into it. She was petite and exquisite, a faint smile blooming on her face. Her skin was as fair and smooth as porcelain, seemingly delicate enough to break at a touch. Her sleeves were loose, cinched by a pink jade belt that highlighted her slender waist. At this moment, Wan Yanyan was breathtaking, sitting elegantly on the swing, her cheeks flushed with a faint, petal-like pinkness. She was like a butterfly dancing in the wind, or pure, crystalline ice—truly carrying her mother’s grace.

Duan Mingyu clawed at his halberd, drooling as he muttered, "I really want to be a beast..."

Zhang San and Li Si both held up their middle fingers. "Why just think about it? You already are one!"

Duan Mingyu then looked at the two maids beside Wan Yanyan. They were pretty enough, but he studied their chests and found them as flat as a runway—certainly capable of landing a Boeing 777 or an Airbus 380. Zhang San and Li Si’s tastes were truly unique.

Zhang San looked at Duan Mingyu, fawning, "Master Duan, you only need to nod, and I will definitely deliver these two maids to your residence tonight. Just add a little bit of 'medicine,' and heh-heh, the rest... well, you understand."

Duan Mingyu asked in surprise, "What! Drugging them? Such a crude method doesn't suit civilized people like us. What kind of medicine do you have?"

Zhang San lowered his voice. "Diamond Drill, Tathagata Buddha’s Great Extasy, and the Guanyin’s Delight. I’m not boasting, but I have them all."

"You rascal, why are you so wicked? Bring me three pounds of each," Duan Mingyu said lecherously.

Zhang San’s jaw dropped. "What? Three pounds of each! My lord, you cannot! Just a fingernail’s worth is enough to make a man a seven-time champion in one night. Taking that much would be fatal!"

Duan Mingyu said calmly, "I am just keeping them for an emergency. Do you think I’m stupid enough to eat three pounds at once? Little Zhang, don't be so stingy. At worst, I’ll lend you my collection of erotic art albums. Let me tell you, what I have are all high-quality goods, including imported editions from Goryeo and the East Isles. There are scenes of imperial concubines and eunuchs, Guanyin and Buddha—the poses, the expressions, tsk, I guarantee you’ve never seen anything like them."

Upon hearing this, Zhang San’s face turned bright red. He rubbed his hands together, the light in his eyes overcoming his last shred of reason. "Fine, it’s a deal!"

"Hahahaha, you’re killing me!" Before they knew it, Ji Yunyi had appeared behind them, laughing until she trembled. It was a stunning sight.

Duan Mingyu no longer had the heart to appreciate the beauty. His face was as red as an erupting volcano; he wished he could just bash his head in right in front of her.

After Ji Yunyi finally caught her breath, she said, "I never imagined the top scholar had such a vast collection!"

Duan Mingyu squeezed out a smile. "Heh, it’s ancestral, all passed down from my ancestors!" *Oh, my ancestors, I am truly sorry today; please hold off on smiting me until I get through this.*

Ji Yunyi cast a coquettish glance at him. "As if I believe you!"

"Mother, what are you talking about?" Unexpectedly, it was Wan Yanyan who saved Duan Mingyu at this critical moment. Seeing her daughter, Ji Yunyi could no longer tease him and said sternly, "Master Duan just told me a joke. It was truly funny."

Wan Yanyan looked at Duan Mingyu with the same expression her mother had earlier, her eyes filled with confusion. Was this really the top scholar?

Wan Yanyan hesitated, then finally mustered the courage to say, "Scholar Duan, you have fallen."

Duan Mingyu was bewildered by her sudden, inexplicable comment. "How have I fallen?"

Wan Yanyan smoothed the strands of hair by her ears. "I must say, your academic achievements are extraordinary. No one expected Bianzhou to produce a top scholar; it is truly a once-in-a-century event."

That was a poorly chosen phrase; "once-in-a-century" was usually reserved for floods.

Wan Yanyan continued, "Although your circumstances are difficult, you are a scholar of immense talent and should be doing great things. Yet here you are, running a business and acting as a constable. Tell me, have you not fallen?"

"Fine, I have indeed fallen."