Twenty-eight

Who would have thought that Wan Yanyan was such a quick-to-warm-up girl? She started off by giving Duan Mingyu a proper lecture.

Wan Yanyan glanced at Ji Yunyi’s peculiar expression. "Mother, what is the matter? Did I say something wrong?"

Ji Yunyi straightened her posture. "This... as a woman of modest standing, how would I understand such matters?" It was clear she did not want to offend either party.

Watching Ji Yunyi get bested by her own daughter, Duan Mingyu chuckled.

"Top Scholar Duan, please do not laugh. This is a very serious matter. I hope you will walk the righteous path in the future. It is best to do less of this constable work, lest it erode your ambitions," Wan Yanyan said with embarrassed annoyance.

"This... was purely an accident. Just this once, it shall not happen again," Duan Mingyu said cautiously.

Wan Yanyan covered her lips and smiled, a natural, indescribable charm radiating from her. "I never expected the Top Scholar to be so ready to listen to reason. You actually have a bit of character."

"You saw through my virtues so quickly?" Duan Mingyu asked, feigning shock. "I thought I had hidden them very well. Oh, I suppose I am too conspicuous. As the saying goes, the tree that stands above the forest is the first to be broken by the wind. It seems it is time for me to reflect on myself."

"Hahaha! How can you be so thick-skinned!" Wan Yanyan and Ji Yunyi both clutched their stomachs and burst into laughter.

Duan Mingyu was speechless. Their threshold for humor was remarkably low; was that really so funny? He would have to be more careful in the future; if this mother-daughter duo laughed themselves to death, it would be a great loss to the community of scoundrels!

Wan Yanyan was the first to regain her composure. She whispered, in a voice only he could hear, "Top Scholar Duan is truly good at amusing people. No wonder Mother was laughing so joyfully just now!"

Duan Mingyu coughed. "Miss Wan, could you please stop calling me Top Scholar? To be honest, I am actually... rather allergic to that title." He could not help but frown.

Wan Yanyan blinked, then immediately agreed, "Very well, Top Scholar." Duan Mingyu rolled his eyes in frustration. This stubborn girl really refused to change. Realizing her slip-up, a flush crept across her jade-like face, and she gave him an apologetic smile.

Ji Yunyi interjected, "What kind of rule is that, Master Scholar? This humble woman truly does not understand."

Duan Mingyu patted his halberd and said shamelessly, "Madam Ji, you may not know this, but when one drifts through the world, how can one avoid being cut? In life, it is better to keep a low profile, is it not?"

Wan Yanyan was left bewildered by Duan Mingyu’s nonsensical rhetoric and blinked innocently.

Duan Mingyu asked, "Miss Wan, did you understand?"

Wan Yanyan patted her well-developed chest. "Mother understands, so I understand. Mother, did you understand?"

"I understand. Actually, you understand too!" Ji Yunyi imitated Duan Mingyu’s tone.

Wan Yanyan pretended to be angry. "If I don't call you Top Scholar, then what should I call you?"

Duan Mingyu said, "In my dormitory, I rank fourth, so people call me Fourth Brother Duan. Miss Wan can call me Fourth Brother as well." Damn it, he had slipped up. What was a "dormitory"? That would be a rather profound thing to explain.

Duan Mingyu laughed awkwardly to cover it up. "The weather is really nice today!" But his smile soon vanished. A rather lewd voice reached the ears of the three of them. At some point, Zhang San and Li Si had begun flirting with Wan Yanyan’s two maids.

After groping the chest of the maid on his left, Zhang San sighed, "Wow, they feel just like steamed buns!"

The maid replied shyly, "No, they are not as big as real steamed buns."

Zhang San said lewdly, "I was talking about Wangzai mini-buns."

The maid’s face turned crimson instantly. "Oh, Brother Zhang, you are so bad!"

Zhang San chuckled, "If a man isn't bad, a woman won't love him!"

While Zhang San was heating things up with his maid, Li Si was also getting into mischief with the other, his hands wandering until the maid was gasping for air, begging for mercy.

Duan Mingyu wished he could crawl into a hole in the ground. He looked up and sighed, "How embarrassing!"

Ji Yunyi covered her face with her long sleeves and kept repeating, "A misfortune to my house, a complete misfortune!"

Duan Mingyu thought to himself: they had only been gone for the time it takes to relieve oneself, and they had already hooked up. What a pair of randy rogues—no, a slip of the tongue—two pairs of randy rogues.

Duan Mingyu spat on the ground. These two boys, this was the Wan estate, not their own home! They had no sense of restraint. What the hell was this!

Duan Mingyu said to Wan Yanyan, "What these two rascals are doing is purely 'Zhang Fei's mother'!"

Wan Yanyan asked in confusion, "Zhang Fei's mother? What is the logic behind that?"

Duan Mingyu feigned profundity. "Do you know Zhang Fei's mother's surname?"

"What is it?" Ji Yunyi and Wan Yanyan both leaned in, looking very gossipy.

Duan Mingyu smiled. "Naturally, it is Wu!"

"There is no evidence for that. How do you know?"

"There is a saying: Zhang Fei’s mother—making trouble (Wu/No-affair) out of nothing (Fei/Flying)!"

The mother and daughter lived up to expectations and burst into laughter again. Duan Mingyu’s face twitched. If they kept laughing like this, what would happen? He really needed to reflect on himself. But were they really mother and daughter? To him, they looked more like sisters. He would have to investigate this properly.

This time, Ji Yunyi beat Wan Yanyan by two seconds, straightening her bent waist first. "The Top Scholar is truly interesting. I have seen all kinds of people, but I fear there isn't another person as amusing as you in the whole world!"

"You flatter me, you flatter me... I am ashamed, truly ashamed..." Duan Mingyu cupped his hands, and the halberd he had been propping up on the ground took the opportunity to tilt to one side. Fortunately, Duan Mingyu was quick, saving Ji Yunyi from disaster once again.

Duan Mingyu held the halberd with one hand and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead with the other. This thing had way too high a risk factor. He wondered if Ji Yunyi had insurance, otherwise, one slip of his hand and this girl would become a ghost under his halberd.

Judging that Wan Yanyan was likely tired from laughing, beads of sweat appeared on her delicate nose. She glared at Duan Mingyu. "Fourth Brother, I want to ask you a question."

"Miss Wan, please ask. I will tell you everything I know."

Wan Yanyan asked, "What exactly did you come to my house for?"

Duan Mingyu said with righteous indignation, "Of course, I came to... wait, I am here to solve a case. Why am I chatting with you all? Zhang San, Li Si, you two scoundrels, get over here!"

Just as Zhang San and Li Si were about to proceed to the next stage of their activities, they heard Duan Mingyu’s voice. Like Japanese soldiers surrendering, they raised their hands awkwardly, as if to say they had done nothing at all.