Fifty-four

Seeing Duan Mingyu's solemn and composed expression, Wan Yanyan said awkwardly, "Actually, there's really nothing to laugh about."

Duan Mingyu nodded as if he had figured it all out. "This Top Scholar finally understands why you women have such a low threshold for laughter."

"Why is that?"

Duan Mingyu expounded, "To put it bluntly, it is still the feudal system's oppression of our female compatriots. Every day, you study the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, along with embroidery and needlework, keeping your playful nature strictly locked away. As for between husband and wife, it goes without saying that you emphasize holding the serving tray to eye level and treating each other like honored guests. Alas, these things are inherently good in themselves, but everything must have its limits. Excessive oppression is tantamount to murder!"

Wan Yanyan was left completely dazed by Duan Mingyu's rhetoric. After a long while, she stammered, "It seems, perhaps, roughly, supposedly, to be the case?"

"Hey, Duan Mingyu, you big baddie! How come I haven't seen you for several days? Where did you run off to play without calling me?" Yang Zhaoniang called out to Duan Mingyu from far away at the entrance.

Wan Yanyan covered her mouth and smiled. "Hehe, Zhaoniang, little sister, you are much naughtier than I was when I was young."

Yang Zhaoniang protested stubbornly, "Who says I'm naughty? Brother Mingyu told me this is called being lively, cute, and naturally beautiful and hard to..." Yang Zhaoniang's train of thought short-circuited again. She stammered with a deeply pensive look on her face, and hurriedly shot a glance at Duan Mingyu.

"Ahem, hard to cast aside, Zhaoniang. It's hard to cast aside," Duan Mingyu quickly prompted in a low voice. Alas, expecting this mischievous little rascal, who spent all day plotting how to cause trouble, to remember a couple of lines of poetry was truly asking too much of her.

Having received the prompt, Yang Zhaoniang immediately puffed out her chest and proudly declared, "Right! Naturally beautiful and hard to cast aside!"

Duan Mingyu gave Yang Zhaoniang a speechless look.

Ever since Duan Mingyu returned to his shop in the city, he had not known a moment of peace.

Yang Guang was set to return to the capital in two days, so as soon as he saw that this scoundrel Duan Mingyu was back, he immediately dragged him into a room for secluded training, leaving Wan Yanyan and Yang Zhaoniang with looks of utter indignation.

Unwillingly and reluctantly, Yang Zhaoniang and Wan Yanyan headed toward the back courtyard.

Duan Mingyu felt like crying without tears. He had just returned only to be worked to the bone again. Ah, being born handsome came with so much trouble; disaster struck even when lying down.

Yang Guang handed a long sword to Duan Mingyu, and Duan Mingyu clumsily began practicing the sword techniques he had just learned...

"No, no! The speed is much too slow!"

"The force behind this thrust should be greater."

"Mmm, these two movements should flow like moving clouds and flowing water, completed in one single breath. Let's do it again, from the top!"

"..."

Duan Mingyu practiced for the entire morning, and finally escaped from purgatory amidst Yang Guang's satisfied expression.

However, right after that, another major misfortune latched onto him.

Wan Yanyan wanted to teach him how to write. With a mournful face, Duan Mingyu stepped out of the training room only to walk straight into the study.

Even so, Duan Mingyu still put on an eager expression of thirst for knowledge.

Because in front of ladies, one had to maintain one's elegant demeanor; if one failed to mind their image, the consequences would be quite severe.

Duan Mingyu recalled a college classmate of his. Alas, that fellow's academic grades were stellar, but in daily life, he paid zero attention to his image in front of ladies, and thus he had never found a romantic partner.

Finding him truly pathetic, Duan Mingyu had set him up on a blind date. For their first meeting, it was just dining and chatting, the usual routine. Unfortunately, this blockhead didn't live up to expectations and let out a fart during the meal. Hoping to leave a good impression on the woman, Duan Mingyu hurriedly chimed in, "Sorry, sorry, I couldn't hold it in for a moment." Who would have thought that this boor would burst out laughing with a snort, "You think *you* passed it? Hahaha, it was *me*!" Duan Mingyu had felt the bitter disappointment of jade that could not be carved into a vessel. Well, you deserve to be a bachelor for the rest of your life.

Therefore, for the sake of his image, his lifelong happiness, and the continuation of the Duan family line, Duan Mingyu would advance if there were conditions, and if there were no conditions, he would create them and advance anyway.

In the study, Wan Yanyan was teaching Duan Mingyu calligraphy hand in hand.

A faint, virginal fragrance recklessly wafted into Duan Mingyu's nose, causing his mind to wander wildly. Feeling those full and soft mounds pressed against him felt utterly divine; matters of calligraphy were completely cast to the winds.

This was practically a crime. No wonder many beautiful female teachers always ended up with students who had poor academic grades and remained impervious to all their efforts—it wasn't that the teachers weren't teaching well, but rather that the young men simply couldn't help themselves and couldn't stop... If anyone was to blame, it should be whoever decided humans weren't hermaphrodites!

Wan Yanyan was also suffering immensely. What kind of calligraphy practice was this? It was purely learning how to write characters from scratch.

Wan Yanyan held Duan Mingyu's hand, writing stroke by stroke without much effort, and before long, beads of sweat began to dot her forehead. Looking back at Duan Mingyu, he was already wandering far beyond the heavens.

Embarrassed and annoyed, Wan Yanyan scolded, "Young Master, please do not be distracted while practicing calligraphy!"

"Oh! Understood." Duan Mingyu wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth and tightly grasped Wan Yanyan's dainty hand. "What did you just say?"

Wan Yanyan sighed, "Ah, you nemesis!"

Looking at Wan Yanyan's delicate and tender appearance, Duan Mingyu's passions surged. He pulled Wan Yanyan into his embrace and, emboldened by audacity, blurted out, "Yanyan, let's consummate our marriage right now!"

"Ah!"

Wan Yanyan's mind went blank for a moment, and she offered some token resistance. "No, it's daytime."

Duan Mingyu was also a novice and actually let go of his grip. "Alright then, let's consummate the marriage at night!"

A sense of loss welled up in Wan Yanyan's heart, and she softly murmured, "Mmm."

Duan Mingyu laughed out loud. "Yanyan, you agreed?"

"Who said I agreed!"

"Then you don't agree?"

"Who said I don't agree?"

"Then do you agree or not?"

"Guess whether I agree or not."

Wan Yanyan suddenly felt a surge of childlike mischief and playfully engaged in a verbal sparring match with Duan Mingyu.

Duan Mingyu gritted his teeth. Every time he felt like he threw a punch, it landed on a puff of cotton. It left him feeling an unbearable, itching sensation and considerable depression.

Wan Yanyan sat on Duan Mingyu's lap. "Alright, it depends on your performance. If you can write twenty pages of copybooks this afternoon, I'll come over tonight, oh, come over and bring you chicken soup!"

Duan Mingyu pleaded, "You can't be serious! Ten pages, won't that do?"

Wan Yanyan jumped up. "No way!"

Duan Mingyu stubbornly negotiated, "Twelve pages!"

Wan Yanyan snorted. "Eighteen pages. Not a single page less."

Duan Mingyu made a bitter face. "Fourteen pages. Any more and I genuinely won't be able to finish them!"

Wan Yanyan stated, "Sixteen pages. This is rock-bottom clearance pricing."

Duan Mingyu gritted his teeth, then leered, "Fifteen pages, or else you might as well just kill me!"

"Deal!" Wan Yanyan slapped the desk, looking like her mischievous plot had succeeded.

Duan Mingyu slapped Wan Yanyan right on her backside. "Oh, so you dared to trick me, you've gotten quite bold, haven't you!"

Nursing her pain, Wan Yanyan bolted away. "Hehe, I'll come see you tonight, alright? Practice your characters well, my good lord!"