Chapter Sixteen: Affection

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Usually, when Jing Hu visited the Duke of Dingguo’s residence, he would only return after dinner. Qing Rou favored Jiangnan cuisine, and so did she, yet the chefs at the Prince of Yongning’s mansion did not prepare Jiangnan dishes very well. Last year, she had stayed a long time at her maternal grandmother’s home in Jiangnan and never grew tired of the food there.

However, after hearing Qing Rou speak today, she felt a pang of sadness. She forced a few comforting words to ease Qing Rou’s mind before returning with Liu Huang.

Among her four maids, Dou Lv was somewhat simple-minded but obedient. Bao Lan was the most nimble and eldest, like a big sister who often scolded even her. Kan Qing was delicate and sentimental but diligent in her duties. Only Liu Huang resembled a properly raised maid from a prominent household—literate, well-read, and most empathetic.

Seeing Jing Hu sitting in the carriage, legs curled up and arms wrapped around her knees, looking somewhat troubled, Liu Huang asked, “Young County Mistress, what’s the matter? Did you have a disagreement earlier with Miss Xu Ba?”

Jing Hu shook her head. “I’ll be fine after some quiet time. It’s not related to Qing Rou; I’m just wrestling with some thoughts.”

Liu Huang smiled. “I’ve served you for quite some time, but this is the first time I’ve seen you so troubled. If you can share it with me, perhaps I might offer some humble advice.”

If any of the other three maids had asked, she probably wouldn’t have spoken. But some things, when bottled up inside, suffocate the soul.

So Jing Hu lifted her head and asked Liu Huang, “Sister Liu Huang, why do you think people fall in love with others?”

The sudden question surprised Liu Huang at first, then she understood with the wisdom of experience. The young county mistress was already at that tender age when spring’s emotions begin to stir.

Though likely just the innocent kind of affection children play at.

Liu Huang thought for a moment. “I think family background is quite important. Whether for marriage or affection, if the families are very different, perhaps they wouldn’t even have the chance to meet.”

Jing Hu considered quietly. Ke Mingxu was the eldest legitimate grandson of Grand Tutor Ke, a prominent civil official. She was born in the Yongning Prince’s mansion, and her father was the emperor’s most trusted cousin.

Though she was a concubine-born daughter, the imperial clan wasn’t so strict about legitimacy, and the emperor favored her greatly; otherwise, she wouldn’t have received her title of county mistress.

In terms of family background, they seemed to be well-matched.

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Liu Huang continued, “‘Appetite and love are natural desires.’ When one likes another, the first thing noticed is always the other’s appearance. If the person looks plain, no matter how refined or cultured, they may remain unnoticed.”

“After all, with propriety restraining interactions, many men and women rarely meet more than once. There are many tales of love at first sight in this world, but at the core, it always begins with admiration for beauty.”

Jing Hu liked hearing this. She had lost count of all the compliments on her appearance since childhood. Though still young, she was certain she would bloom more beautifully with time, like a coral flower.

Ke Mingxu was also quite handsome. The most familiar handsome man to her was her third brother, Jing Xun, but his temperament was poor; he often flirted and caused trouble, so even his good looks lost appeal in her eyes.

Then she remembered the other disciple of Ke Mingxu she had met on Dragon Boat Festival, Qi Yuanfang. He was equally handsome but seemed a completely different person.

Ke Mingxu was like clear spring water under the moon, while Qi Yuanfang was more passionate, like the tide rising in a turquoise sea.

Her own temperament was passionate, but that vast sea was already another’s possession. In her heart, the clear spring water was more captivating.

She wondered if he thought she was beautiful or merely saw her as a child. The beauty of a child and that of an adult were, after all, distinct.

“Then there is temperament. If one only admires appearance, even if the other looks like a celestial beauty or resembles Pan An, eventually boredom will set in. Many are born handsome, but few have compatible temperaments.”

What was Ke Mingxu’s character like? He was always gentle, speaking with the soft smile of spring breezes, and sometimes teasing her lightly.

His former betrothed, Xu Peirou, had become the wife of his junior disciple. He spoke of them without any resentment or displeasure, which was rare. If it had been her, she certainly wouldn’t have remained so calm.

Jing Hu thought herself somewhat impatient and seldom able to focus quietly on one thing. Yet, when with him, she always felt peaceful, wishing time would slow down even more.

Could this count as a harmony of temperaments?

Liu Huang concluded, “Some affection grows unknowingly over time. Hence the saying, ‘Love arises without knowing its origin, but deepens unceasingly.’ Yet to spend time together, in my humble opinion, sharing similar interests is also important.”

Jing Hu pondered. Since Ke Mingxu was a top scholar with vast reading experience and could recognize coral flowers, he must love to read.

But “reading” was exactly her greatest headache. She wondered if he had other hobbies.

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She thought of herself. Her favorite pastime was playing bone tiles. Would he like that? If he knew she liked it, would he think her uncultured?

Then there was needlework, which he surely would not appreciate, as it was a woman’s task.

What to do? She could not find a single hobby they shared. Jing Hu felt a sudden panic and her expression darkened.

Liu Huang, reading her emotions, comforted her, “These are but my clumsy thoughts and not to be taken as certain. If they truly like each other, these external conditions matter little.”

But this only further annoyed Jing Hu. Family background, appearance, temperament, interests—she already had three out of four.

Why turn love into something so mysterious and elusive? If Ke Mingxu never returned her feelings, what then? Should she plead with her father to force a match with the Ke family?

Putting aside whether her father would agree, if Ke Mingxu truly had no interest, marrying him and claiming him would be meaningless.

“Love arises without knowing its origin, but deepens unceasingly. Life may yield to death, death may return to life. Those who live yet cannot die, or die yet cannot be resurrected, are not truly in love.”

This was from Tang Xianzu’s “Peony Pavilion,” a play she had seen in Jiangnan. The Xu family’s cousin loved the drama and secretly kept a script.

At the time, she could not grasp the subtle romantic meaning and only thought the two on stage were very strange.

To love someone until longing sickens one to death, then to be reborn from love—if one cannot be reborn, it means no love. What sort of logic was that? It seemed insane.

She had never felt such a headache before.