Chapter Twenty-Two: Change

In the end, Jinghu did not find the opportunity today to confide her secrets to Zhenning.

The morning and afternoon passed quickly at the Chunhe Palace, spent chatting with the Crown Princess and Princess Zhenjing, and playing with the eldest imperial grandson. Initially, Jinghu had expected the Crown Princess to have something to discuss with her, but there was nothing of substance—only idle, playful chatter. It was just as well; she was but a child, and even if told, she might not understand. It was better this way, and she was content in her ignorance.

The imperial banquet was held at the Changan Palace. As there were few princesses in the current reign and she was the only county princess present in Yanjing, her seating was quite prominent, placed right beside Princess Zhenning. They had entered with the Crown Princess and Princess Zhenjing; the Crown Princess was a stickler for protocol, so they arrived early. The Emperor and Empress had not yet made their grand entrance, and half the hall remained empty.

Jinghu’s sharp eyes immediately spotted Ke Mingxu, who had entered the hall following the Crown Prince. She had not expected that he would have a seat of his own in the Changan Palace today. However, since he was with the Crown Prince on the side of the male guests, and the center of the hall was vast and open, she could not speak a word to him. She could only gaze at him from afar, hoping he might return her look, but alas, he did not.

When the banquet began, the seating for the imperial clan and nobility placed him near the hall entrance, a great distance from Jinghu. Her attention remained fixed on him. Several times, when the guests raised their glasses to offer toasts to the Empress, she remained motionless until Zhenning nudged her. Zhenning, naturally, had noticed Ke Mingxu following her gaze early on, and seeing Jinghu’s behavior, she could guess most of the situation without needing to be told.

After Jinghu performed her toast, she drifted into a trance once more. The Emperor, seated upon the dragon throne, noticed this and spoke with a smile, “Jingling, what is the matter today? You are constantly distracted, staring at the hall entrance. Do you find the Changan Palace dull?”

Although the Emperor and her father, the Prince of Yongning, were cousins, they had grown up together and both favored concubines from the Xu family, fostering a deep fraternal bond. As the Prince’s most cherished youngest daughter, the Emperor treated her with a degree of intimacy, willing to give her face by addressing her directly on such an occasion.

Since the Emperor had spoken, she dared not be negligent, regardless of her private thoughts. She rose immediately, performed a curtsy, and replied, “Thank you for your concern, Your Majesty. I visited the Crown Princess at the Eastern Palace today and played with the eldest imperial grandson for half the day. I didn’t rest at noon, so I am just a little unfocused.”

Feeling as though this might sound like a slight against the Crown Princess’s hospitality, she quickly added, “The Crown Princess did ask me to rest, but I refused. I didn’t expect to feel so drowsy now; I hope Your Majesty will forgive my clumsiness.”

The Emperor burst into laughter at her words, leaving her bewildered. A moment later, he said, “I never thought that after a trip to the south, our little county princess would become so sensible. Your father and mother could never tame you, but it seems the waters of the south have made you gentle and considerate.”

To say she had become “gentle and considerate” was to imply she had not been so before—and her beloved was right there in the hall. Jinghu pouted slightly. “Your Majesty is teasing me. I went south last summer, and now it is summer again. With the changing of the seasons, surely you can allow me to grow up and become more sensible?”

The Emperor merely chuckled and said to her father, “Listen to her; your daughter is becoming quite capable.”

Her father laughed as well, but when he turned to face Jinghu, his expression turned stern. “Jingling, enough of this nonsense.”

She had only spoken a few words—how was that nonsense? Being mocked by the Emperor and then reprimanded by her father in public, the young county princess felt humiliated. She wanted to flee, to show her temper, but this was the Changan Palace.

Fortunately, the Emperor interjected, “It is only a joke; why reprimand her so? If you distress your daughter, you will be the one hurting later.” He then ordered an attendant to bestow upon her a plate of white jade grapes from his own table.

Yet, the little county princess did not want grapes; she wanted to escape. Knowing the Emperor was not truly displeased, she said, “Your Majesty, I would like to take a walk outside. I drank a bit too much of the jade peach brew while playing with Princess Zhenning.”

Since Ke Mingxu had not cast a single glance her way, she might as well go for a walk. Even if it were only for a moment, if she reached the hall entrance, she might be able to get a little closer to him. She had only had a few cups of the jade peach brew, which was made specifically for the ladies. Her father and eldest brother could drink like fish, and though she was young, she was known among her peers as one who could hold her liquor. Today, however, she felt truly intoxicated; her cheeks burned with a rosy flush.

Seeing her state and considering her pride had been pricked, the Emperor did not deny her request. She rose, supported by Liuhuang, and walked toward the exit. As she neared the door, her steps slowed. She had intended to sulk—if he knew she was in the hall and refused to look at her, she would not look at him either.

But she could not help herself. As she passed him, she stole a glance. This time, he was willing to look back, but Jinghu’s vision was slightly blurred, and she missed the deep concern in his eyes.

Once outside, the warm night breeze hit her, and she felt better almost immediately. In front of the Changan Palace lay a vast plaza; after a moment of thought, she turned and walked toward the small garden on the west side.

For some reason, she felt that everything had changed since entering the palace this time. Sister Wannan’s affairs had passed long ago, and she realized only now how indifferent she had been. What puzzled her most was the relationship between the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess. It was not that she wanted to champion Sister Wannan; they were husband and wife and ought to live in harmony. In truth, though she was born of a concubine, she wished there were no such children in the world. Her mother was favored, but there was still the Prince’s consort above her; what was the point of such mutual torment?

That was why she had always turned a blind eye to the schemes of her mother and eldest brother, pretending to be ignorant. After all, she bore the name Jing, and at ten years old, she was beginning to understand what it meant for her father to be close to the Crown Prince. But the Prince’s consort was his legal wife; why was she so intimate with the foster mother of the Third Prince? She was the daughter of the late Duke of Ding; could it be…

Jinghu shook her head. Even if she figured it out, it was meaningless. It would be better not to think at all and continue living happily as the little county princess.

She looked up to see the bright moon hanging in the sky. Though not as luminous as when full, it shone upon her, and that was enough. She sat down at a stone table in the garden.