Chapter 36: Intentions

Jinghu followed Nanny Feng toward the main hall without once looking back at Ke Mingxu. It was not that she did not want to; precisely because she did, she dared not display any sign of lingering affection, lest she provide the Princess Consort with further ammunition.

He ought to be like moonlight—flawless and pure.

Upon reaching the corner of the covered walkway, she could not help but steal a glance at him. His gaze was still fixed upon her, laced with a faint, underlying anxiety. Seeing her look back, he gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

In an instant, her heart felt as if it had been filled to the brim, and a sense of joy began to sprout within her.

Jinghu soon followed Nanny Feng into the main hall. It was bustling inside, filled with the sounds of laughter and merriment. To her surprise, Qingrou was there. As soon as she saw Jinghu, she exchanged greetings with Nanny Feng and pulled her toward a corner.

"Jinghu, what happened just now? I woke up and went looking for you, but they said you were near the outer courtyard, and I saw my aunt in the distance."

"I was afraid she would make things difficult for you, so I came to the main hall. Seeing the Dowager playing dominoes, I deliberately asked her where you were so she would send someone to find you."

Hearing this, the little county princess lunged forward and pulled Qingrou into a hug. "Qing-er, you truly are my best friend." She released her and pinched her cheek. "Well done—sharp as ice and snow, and kind-hearted, too. I haven't been spoiling you for nothing."

Qingrou swatted her hand away, her expression turning serious. "Jingling, what exactly happened earlier? Why did I see my cousin there, too?"

Jinghu teased her, "Oh, so you weren't worried about me, but about your cousin."

It was merely a joke, yet Qingrou’s face flushed rapidly. She turned her head away, refusing to face her. "Jingling, don't make such jokes."

Jinghu stood frozen, her fingers unconsciously clutching her sleeves. "I... I should go help my grandmother with her tiles."

She fled as if escaping a disaster, feeling more flustered than she had even been when facing the Princess Consort. It felt as though she had caught a glimpse of Qingrou's secret.

Before her grandmother, she dared not show her previous unease. She sat affectionately by her grandmother's side, quickly scanned the tiles already played, and began assisting her with the game.

She might be inept at many things, but she was skilled at playing dominoes. It was her favorite pastime, and soon, all her attention was focused on the game.

They played until dinner, and it was only when she dispersed that Jinghu remembered to look for Qingrou, only to find that she had already left for home with her sister-in-law.

Qingrou had long known of Jinghu’s feelings, and today, it seemed she had become aware of Qingrou’s. Jinghu would not give up on Ke Mingxu, but how would she and Qingrou get along from now on?

The little county princess tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep for half the night. Previously, when Qingrou spoke of her cousin, she had been perfectly natural, showing no sign of displeasure or jealousy even when mentioning that her sister had once been betrothed to him. How had things changed so suddenly?

She had set her heart on Ke Mingxu the moment she saw him on the Zhengyang Gate watchtower. She had never cared for anyone so deeply, and she did not want to let go. Yet, Qingrou was her best friend, someone with whom she had shared years of companionship and mutual accommodation. She did not want to lose that friendship either.

What was she to do?

If she could not force herself to give up, was the only way to find a way to make Qingrou give up? But if she were to try, what methods could she use? She knew nothing of such things. If only it were like playing dominoes—merely matching pairs and calculating the tiles in others' hands.

Even while worrying about Qingrou today, she had shown no mercy, winning several dozen taels of silver from the Princess Consort of Mingqing. Her grandmother, pleased, had bestowed all the winnings upon her. Jinghu took the opportunity to mention the day's events, claiming only that she wanted to learn the Chile language from Ke Mingxu, and she poured out all the benefits he had explained to the Princess Consort to her grandmother.

Her grandmother agreed quickly, dismissing the matter as trivial and telling her to come to her if the Princess Consort caused any more trouble. However, she did not agree to her learning the language from Ke Mingxu. She cited his status as a court official and his busy schedule, though in truth, it was merely out of propriety regarding his gender.

Even if her mother were inclined toward the Ke family, she likely wouldn't approve of her learning from him. Still, having studied the language with Mr. Zhou for a month, she found it quite interesting.

It was a pity that things were now so awkward with Qingrou; she could hardly go to the Duke of Ding’s mansion to ask Mr. Zhou for lessons. Perhaps next time she saw Ke Mingxu, she could find a way to have him recommend a teacher.

Perhaps even his own teacher—that way, they would be fellow students. When one likes someone, one always yearns for as many connections to them as possible.

Or perhaps he would volunteer to teach her himself. It need not be much—two or three days a month would suffice. She was not so greedy; if things could just stay like this for a few years, they could talk of other things later.

Thinking of this, she blushed.

Unable to stay in bed, she opened her cabinet and took out the silk handkerchief. Lighting a lamp, she embroidered a sprig of osmanthus beside the gardenias.

It was not the osmanthus plucked from the Moon Palace, where even the dew was desolate and cold; it was the osmanthus from the Prince of Yongning’s mansion. He spoke so gently that even if he asked her to become an immortal in the Moon Palace, she would refuse.

She would wait for him to walk toward her in this world of flowers and willow-shadowed prosperity. Even if she could do much for him, she hoped that, in the end, he would be the one to walk toward her.

With the final stitch, she trimmed the thread. During the day, she had seen Qi Yuanfang’s clothes and, having only glanced at them, understood how they were embroidered and how to achieve such flowing, vibrant colors.

She used that same technique to embroider the osmanthus leaves. The stitches were fine and dense, the colors shifting naturally—far more skillfully than the embroiderer who had made his garment.

She admired her work under the lamp, feeling a sense of self-satisfaction, before a wave of melancholy suddenly washed over her.

The sachet she had pressed into his hand today was originally meant to be given as a proper gesture after they had finished talking. But time had been so tight, and she did not know when she would see him again.

After giving him the sachet, she had wanted to ask when his birthday was. If it had not passed this year, she would have wanted to prepare a gift for him. She could have asked Qingrou, but now... and so, the problem circled back to its origin.

She had to rest, or her mother would notice her exhaustion tomorrow. Even though she could blame the Princess Consort, it was still not a good thing; her mother might even settle the score for today’s events. Her mother’s public defense of her did not mean she truly believed Jinghu had done nothing wrong.

Thinking of this, Jinghu shivered and obediently went to bed.