Chapter Fifteen: Forgotten What We Were Waiting For

"Why are you in such a hurry? We haven't even finished our drinks yet."

"What... what do you want?" Xiaoxiao eyed the assistant warily, unable to escape as he shamelessly grabbed her arm. In her struggle, drops of liquor spilled from the glass. She turned her head away, dodging the cup that drew closer as if it contained deadly poison.

With a creak, the door to the private room suddenly swung open. A man stepped out, his eyes bleary with drink, sweeping across their faces before he steadied himself against the wall and headed for the restroom. The door remained wide open, letting music spill out. In those brief seconds, Xiaoxiao clearly saw Lin Shuo seated inside. Their eyes met, and he inexplicably sneered at her, slowly raising his glass in a distant salute before draining it in one gulp.

In that moment, it felt as if thousands of insects gnawed at her from within—an unbearable agony and itch. Yes, he looked down on her with utter disdain, offering nothing but mockery, even revulsion, exactly as he had in the past.

"Go on, drink it," the assistant said, gripping her cheeks and forcing her mouth open. Caught off guard, she was nearly overpowered, but she fought back, forcefully knocking his hand away. The liquor splashed all over her clothes, soaking the fabric and clinging to her skin. The assistant glared at her in disbelief, clutching the empty glass. Xiaoxiao glanced at Lin Shuo—he was still lazily sprawled on the sofa, that same cold smile on his lips, though now his eyes flashed with anger.

Before the assistant could retaliate, Xiaoxiao, mortified beyond words, fled blindly. She rubbed her sleeves across her face again and again, wet from who knew whether it was liquor or tears.

"Get back here!" the assistant shouted after her, but before he could finish, he was knocked to the ground by a sudden, heavy punch. Lin Shuo stood at the doorway, fists clenched, as the groans at his feet seemed to question what had gotten into him. He had always prided himself on his self-control, always despised her for her self-abandonment, yet he could not hold back his outburst. Not long ago she had been here, her makeup making her more beautiful than ever before, almost dazzling, yet she was entangled with some sordid man. After four years apart, it seemed she had only grown more adept at provoking his fury.

Leaping into a taxi, she finally broke down and wept aloud. Lin Shuo’s silent derision wounded her more deeply than being forced to drink. If their encounter at Hua Mei’s wedding had allowed her to barely preserve her dignity, then tonight had utterly destroyed it.

The taxi wound through streets and alleys, and as they passed the city center, Xiaoxiao suddenly no longer wished to run. The Gold Pavilion Square was teeming with people in the night. She hurried out and merged with the crowd passing through the Golden Horse Archway. Here stood Kunming’s tallest buildings, its busiest streets, its most luxurious shops, its densest throngs. She happened to look up and see a string of colored lights sparkling in the night sky. Every evening, all year round, someone came here to fly a kite. She had never seen the kite, nor the person who flew it, nor did she know what drove that person to persist for decades. Yet whenever she glimpsed those little balls of light suspended in the sky, she felt an unexplainable sense of reassurance. No matter where the kite drifted, those lights seemed to say, “I’m waiting for you.”

All these years, she had simply waited—always waiting—without knowing exactly whom she was waiting for. Sometimes she even forgot whether she was waiting for a person or just for a story.

—End of Chapter Fifteen: "Forgotten What I Was Waiting For" in Moments of Loneliness, Let’s Not Speak of Love—