Chapter Thirty-Six: Yesterday Once More

Her smile froze on her face, her whole body ill at ease. What was going on today? This wasn’t how things stood between her and Lin Shuo. Clearly, Lin Shuo sensed the strangeness of the moment as well. He quickly put away his teasing manner, straightened up, and across the window they exchanged a silent gaze.

“I’m leaving. Don’t let any questionable people come up here again,” he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets, his expression restored to its usual calm, as if he hadn’t just been joking around.

“Do you have plans tonight?” she asked.

“Hm?” Lin Shuo was taken aback for a moment, then immediately grasped her meaning and replied without emotion, “Objectively speaking, yes.”

She smiled in understanding.

On that Saturday afternoon four years later, the two of them appeared together in the supermarket near her home. He pushed the cart, while she carefully selected items from the shelves. She didn’t quite understand why she wanted to keep him there, only that the laughter and easy conversation just now felt so familiar, and she longed to savor it a little longer.

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile...

The Carpenters’ song echoed through the supermarket—Yesterday Once More, a tune Xiao Xiao knew by heart.

It all traced back to long ago, when autumn winds had just begun. Lin Shuo was working part-time, spending over ten hours a day on the job whenever he didn’t have class. Before leaving, he’d call to remind her to attend her lectures, telling her not to laze in bed just because it was getting colder. She took his words as law. After they got together, she became the student with the best attendance in the class, and she was always willing to go hungry, waiting to have dinner with him when he returned to campus.

She never understood why Lin Shuo worked so hard, but he would always say, with a kind of sweet pride, “I have to earn a lot of money to take care of you!” At any other time, she would have thought someone who spoke like that was a dreamer, aiming too high, doomed to disappointment. But back then, she was only moved—no matter what he said, she believed him, utterly and without question.

The autumn rain came without warning. Once again, Kunming was caught in the awkwardness of inadequate drainage. Lin Shuo was stuck on the road, calling her to say she should go eat without him, not to wait. All the more reason, she thought, to wait stubbornly, her hunger growing.

Finally he arrived, but the cafeteria was already closed. Her stomach was empty, but seeing Lin Shuo at the school gate made her happier than any grand meal could have. Clutching his arm, she peppered him with questions, telling him about the day’s news on campus. In the midst of their chatter, one of their stomachs grumbled in protest, and they both laughed. He took her hand and, stepping over fallen leaves and puddles, led her around to the alley behind the school. There, a barbecue vendor had strung up a dim yellow lamp over the stall. Acrid smoke and the sizzle of food on the fire made their mouths water.

Luckily, the rain had stopped. The owner set up tables and chairs in the open air. Night had fallen, and there were few passersby—just a handful of students like themselves, raising their glasses over skewers of grilled meat, perhaps venting the restlessness of youth. When they clinked glasses, white foam splashed across the table.

He picked up a piece of fragrant pork belly and dipped it into her sauce. She wrinkled her nose, complaining it was too fatty. He pretended to be stern and ordered her to finish it all. At that moment, her gaze drifted over his thin frame, and she nearly failed to suppress the sudden rush of tenderness she felt for him.

In Kunming, no matter the season, outsiders only know it as spring all year round, but they don’t know that one rain can bring winter, nor do they understand the dramatic difference between day and night. The night breeze, carrying the scent of earth after rain, swept through the alleys as if an invisible hand guided the bulb, casting wobbling shadows on the ground.

“Is it good?” he asked, absentmindedly rubbing her arm, which was clad only in a light shirt. He hunched his shoulders slightly, red lines threading his eyes, his expression filled with affection.

Lonely Times: Do Not Speak of Love, Chapter 36—Yesterday Once More, completed!