Chapter 154: The Nightmare of Longing, Punishing Her Day and Night

That fear grew larger and larger within her heart.

The more she thought about it, the more she imagined him suddenly appearing one day right before her eyes to snatch her children away, making her wish she could pack up and move the entire family away right this very second.

Emerging from the bathroom, Shi Runrun still felt deeply unsettled.

Especially as she looked at the three little ones playing with their toys in the living room.

The younger sister was one thing, but Dabao and Erbao—their faces were identical to that man's, making her heart skip a beat every time she looked at them.

Uneasy as she felt, she still had to cook dinner first to feed the three little ones.

Shi Runrun tied on her apron, picked up the bag of ingredients resting on the floor, and stepped into the kitchen.

She turned on the induction cooker, first dropping the washed pork ribs into boiling water to blanch, then beating eggs into a bowl, scattering chopped scallions over them, and placing them into the steamer.

The three little ones had an extraordinary fondness for steamed egg custard; they had eaten it from infancy and never seemed to tire of it.

Who on earth had they inherited this from, she wondered...

Shi Runrun remembered that years ago, back at the Xiao household, he had also loved mild, plain egg custard the most...

Back then, Sister Li served this dish every single day at the dining table.

Because it appeared with such high frequency, the impression remained deeply etched in her mind.

Just as she was bustling about in the kitchen, a knock sounded at the front door outside.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Mommy, someone's at the door."

The brothers and sister in the living room chanted in unison.

Hearing the sound, Shi Runrun turned off the induction cooker, washed her hands under the tap, dried her brow with a piece of kitchen paper from the side, and went out to open the door.

"Who is it?"

Shi Runrun waited a moment until the knocking sounded once more before she turned the latch.

The door swung open, allowing the bright incandescent light from the living room to spill outward and illuminate the man standing there.

His sharp, deep facial features entered Shi Runrun's view, possessing a charmingly sculpted dimension. He was dressed in a neat, formal suit with his tie properly knotted, looking very much like someone who had just returned straight from the office.

"Brother Qiao, why did you come over at this hour?"

Qiao Yu glanced at her, curved his lips into a smile, and stepped sideways into the apartment.

"Daddy Qiao Yu!"

The three siblings in the living room called out in unison upon seeing him.

Shi Runrun: "..."

After closing the door, she couldn't help walking over to remind them: "Call him Uncle Qiao! Why can't you change how you address him even after I've taught you so many times?!"

Hearing this, the corners of Qiao Yu's thin lips curved upward even higher. He walked over to the little girl, scooped her up into his arms, kissed her adorable, milky-white cheek, and smiled at Shi Runrun. "What does it matter? They'll be calling me Daddy sooner or later anyway!"

Shi Runrun: "..."

How could the children be so clueless, and why was Brother Qiao acting this way too...

Yet, looking at the profound affection gazing out from his eyes as he spoke, Shi Runrun felt a blush creep onto her cheeks.

Since he had already come, however, Shi Runrun asked him to stay for dinner.

At the dining table, the three little ones were thoroughly satisfied with the dishes she had prepared that evening, especially the steamed egg custard. They lowered their heads one by one, gripping their tiny spoons to scoop up the food from the small bowls clutched in their hands.

As for Qiao Yu, he used his chopsticks with effortless grace while frequently placing food into the bowls of the three children.

From an outsider's perspective, that tender, devoted demeanor truly made it seem as though he were the father of the three little ones.

Observing this, Shi Runrun's gaze dimmed.

She couldn't help thinking once more of how Qiao Yu had looked after the four of them over the years.

She had always known how he felt about her, but a woman like her, burdened with three children, was entirely unworthy of him.

Unworthy of him.

Therefore, she could not accept his feelings.

...

Dinner concluded, and the clock hand pointed to nine in the evening.

At this hour, the three little darlings could no longer fight off their drowsiness and had tumbled into bed one after another.

Shi Runrun went into the bedroom to tuck in the blankets for the three of them who slept together, turned off the light in the children's room, and then headed out with Qiao Yu to see him downstairs.

At this time of night, the streetlamps along the road burned brightly. Especially on this summer evening, countless moths fluttered in circles within the halos of light.

Shi Runrun walked ahead, and Qiao Yu followed behind.

He lowered his dark gaze to watch the small, quiet woman walking ahead of him, taking in the professional shirt and tight-fitting hip skirt she still hadn't had time to change out of. Inevitably, his eyes darkened and his throat moved with a subtle swallow.

In his heart, she was an exceptionally wonderful woman, flawless in every aspect.

The two of them reached his car parked by the roadside. Shi Runrun turned around and smiled at him. "Brother Qiao, drive slowly on your way back."

In the next second, however, instead of opening the car door, Qiao Yu suddenly reached out and grabbed her wrist.

Shi Runrun paused, raised her gaze, and collided straight with his deep, obsidian eyes brimming with tenderness.

"Brother Qiao?"

The next moment, looking at her, he said in a soft voice, "Runrun, won't you truly consider finding a father for these three siblings in the future?"

Shi Runrun: "..."

Her pounding heart hammered furiously within her chest at that very instant.

Before she could frame a reply, he continued softly, "I have been waiting, waiting for you to give me a proper title. Runrun, raising children alone is terribly hard. Let me help you, won't you?"

Hearing these words, Shi Runrun's heart softened completely at that moment.

Defeated, she averted her gaze, lacking the heart—and the courage—to look at him any longer.

It was not that she did not want to; it was that she could not.

Moreover, anyone who cast their lot with her would meet a tragic end.

Four years ago, the person who had been with her ended up with his family shattered and ruined.

How much more so now, four years later, when she had two sons and a daughter by her side?

Gently, Shi Runrun withdrew her wrist, clasped her hands tightly behind her back, lowered her head, and whispered, "Brother Qiao, I'm sorry... I cannot accept your offer."

Qiao Yu: "..."

His gaze darkened as he stared at his hand lingering stiffly in empty air, and he managed a bitter smile.

The next second, Shi Runrun continued softly, "Brother Qiao, there are countless wonderful girls in this world. You will eventually find someone who is worthy of you and who can care for you throughout your life."

*But that person will never be me...*

She quietly added the sentence in her heart.

Why was that?!

Aside from the conviction that staying with her would only drag him down, there was a deeper reason still...

There was also... also...

Deep within her heart, she could never forget, never truly forget that man...

Throughout these past four years, the nightmare of yearning punished her every single day and every single night, whether her eyes were open or closed.

Though she fought valiantly against this tidal wave of longing, trying desperately not to be consumed by it...

Yet... yet...

Shi Runrun knew that deep down inside, she could never forget him...

Xiao Xuezheng...

That name carved into the depths of her soul filled her with both unending longing and excruciating pain.

Qiao Yu looked at her with a bitter smile, his eyes suddenly glistening as warm liquid welled up and slowly spilled over...

After a long moment, he drew a deep breath, wiped the corner of his eye, and forced a smile. "I understand, Runrun. Just... please don't refuse me. Don't refuse my staying by your side to look after you and the children."