Chapter 3: Confronting the Auntie on the Subway

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[Yes, you can spend one point to change my voice. There’s the deep uncle voice, the youthful boy voice, the senior classmate voice, the maiden voice, the mature woman voice, and the cute little girl voice. Which one would you like to choose, Host?]

"Are you trying to rob me? That’s outrageous!"

One point didn’t sound like much, but once converted to cash, it was a thousand yuan. That seemed like a lot. She only paid fifty for a set of pajamas online, and those were pure cotton.

[Host, you’re so stingy. You can’t even spare one point for me? We’ll have plenty of chances to chat in the future. Don’t you want a voice that sounds pleasant to your ears?]

Ruan Mianmian thought the system made sense, so she said, "Can I try out these voices first?"

If she was going to choose a voice she liked, she should at least listen to them first.

[Of course.]

The system automatically played several voices.

After listening, Ruan Mianmian chose the senior classmate voice: bright and gentle, full of youthful optimism, soothing and comforting—just right for someone with her days numbered.

"007, if one point equals a thousand yuan, then how do you calculate the points for roasting someone? And how about the life value?"

[That depends on the difficulty and accuracy of your target. The system will judge and grant the corresponding points and life value. One point equals 2.4 hours of life value. Points and life value are awarded simultaneously; there’s no need to expend points to convert them.]

"Oh, I see. So ten points means I get to live another day."

[Host, you still have an unopened newbie gift pack. Don’t you want to open it?]

"Of course I do." She was curious what was inside.

The interface for the newbie gift pack appeared before Ruan Mianmian, with two options: Open and Abandon.

She tapped Open.

A basic roasting phrase pack?

Ruan Mianmian felt a pang of disappointment. This wasn’t exactly a surprise.

"007, is this it? Where’s the so-called big surprise?"

She’d thought at least there’d be a courage boost or some life-saving item as a newbie reward.

After all, roasting people took guts—and could easily get you hit!

[Host, don’t you think this is perfect for a beginner? It’s practical and will keep you from running out of words.]

Ruan Mianmian pouted, dissatisfied.

But it was better than nothing. Next time she was lost for words, she could check the phrase pack. It might come in handy.

...

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The next day.

The subway station was packed at dawn, with everyone rushing to work.

Ruan Mianmian had gone to bed early and felt refreshed today. Backpack slung over her shoulder, coffee in her left hand, she scrolled through the latest news on her phone with her right.

"Move aside! Move aside!" A plump woman in a leopard-print shirt barreled toward her, swinging her bag and knocking the coffee out of Ruan Mianmian’s hand.

Brown liquid splattered across Ruan Mianmian’s white blouse, painting an abstract pattern.

"Are you blind, standing here blocking the way!"

The woman tried to blame her, her voice booming across half the station as if volume meant she was in the right.

Sympathetic glances came from the crowd, but no one said a word.

Ruan Mianmian’s face darkened.

Her shirt was ruined!

Her precious coffee—the only thing that kept her going through the day—was gone!

[Host, she was clearly in the wrong. Roast her, now!]

007’s prompt echoed in her mind.

For some reason, Ruan Mianmian could hear a trace of excitement in that gentle, bright senior classmate voice.

Was the system capable of excitement?

Ruan Mianmian took a deep breath and grabbed the woman as she tried to slip away.

"Auntie, did you get your head and backside swapped? Are your eyes on the back of your head? This coffee was thirty-eight yuan a cup, the shirt was three hundred and twenty—cash or mobile payment?"

[Congratulations, Host. You’ve gained: 3 points, life value +7.2 hours.]

The woman’s face turned a kaleidoscope of colors. "You little brat, what did you say?"

Ruan Mianmian replied, "Who are you calling a brat?"

The woman snapped, "I’m calling you a brat!"

[Congratulations, Host. You’ve gained: 2 points, life value +4.8 hours.]

Laughter bubbled up from the crowd. Only then did the woman realize she’d just insulted herself, her face morphing into every shade of a rainbow. She jabbed a finger at Ruan Mianmian. "You..."

Ruan Mianmian, emboldened by the system’s constant reports of extra time and money, cut her off with a raised voice, "And by the way, did you get your perfume in a fire sale at a pesticide factory? You’ve sterilized every mosquito within ten meters!"

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[Congratulations, Host. You’ve gained: 5 points, life value +12 hours.]

Suppressing their laughter, the crowd watched as the woman trembled with rage and raised her hand to strike Ruan Mianmian.

Just then, a patrolling subway officer approached.

"What’s going on here? No causing a scene," the officer said sternly.

"Officer, this lady deliberately bumped into me from behind and ruined both my coffee and my shirt. I asked her to compensate me, and she started hurling insults," Ruan Mianmian quickly explained.

The officer glanced at Ruan Mianmian. Her shirt was obviously stained, and the coffee was spilled.

The woman tried to argue, "I didn’t do it on purpose. It was just an accident. Young lady, you’re so petty, making a fuss over a cup of coffee. Isn’t that going too far?"

"Auntie, being petty is better than being brainless. No wonder you managed to bump into me from behind. I am petty—so what? If you’re so magnanimous, then stop whining. Coffee’s thirty-eight, the shirt’s three hundred and twenty, total is three hundred and fifty-eight yuan. Cash or mobile payment?"

[Congratulations, Host. You’ve gained: 4 points, life value +9.6 hours.]

The woman balked at the idea of paying over three hundred yuan and tried to wriggle out of it. "Why should I pay that much? Your shirt can still be worn after a wash."

"Then give me your address. I’ll change and mail the shirt to you for a good long soak. I don’t want it anymore." The coffee stain was so large, the shirt was a lost cause.

The woman glared at Ruan Mianmian. "What would I want your shirt for? I couldn’t even fit into it if I tried."

Ruan Mianmian stood her ground. "That’s your problem. If you won’t pay, then let’s go with the officer and sort this out in detail. You’ll delay me at work, so you’ll have to cover my lost wages and this month’s bonus too. Then it won’t be just three hundred fifty-eight yuan."

The woman realized she’d lose out, and with the officer standing by, didn’t dare make a scene.

She grudgingly said, "Fine, I’ll pay you half for the shirt. After all, it can still be worn."

She hadn’t expected such a sharp-tongued young woman who simply wouldn’t let her off the hook.

Just her luck to run into a tough customer today.

"No way!" Ruan Mianmian replied firmly. Both her shirt and coffee were ruined; she refused to take the loss.

"You..." The woman’s face turned green with anger. She pulled three hundred and sixty yuan from her bag and shoved it into Ruan Mianmian’s hand.

"You just wait," she spat, storming off in fury.

There would always be another chance to deal with this little brat!