Chapter Eighty-Nine: Xiachan

In the dream, it was hard to tell who appeared, though the scenes felt strangely modern. When he woke, everything came rushing out at once.

The night of the Great Wu, the mosquito net, an indescribable sensation—his lower body seemed to be wrapped in warm, soft water. Through the haze, he heard a faint cough. It took him quite a while to come to himself. In the darkness, a slight rise beneath the covers, Xian’s body. Then Xian half sat up, lifted the blanket, and in the dim light wore a troubled, reluctant expression, cheeks puffed slightly, something held in her mouth. She looked down below, looking as though she might cry, then glanced at Ning Yi’s face. Her throat moved with difficulty, and she bent down again.

Again, in water…

Ning Yi closed his eyes. Beneath him, the little one moved with care, slowly.

After a while, Xian quietly slipped out from under the thin blanket. She glanced at Ning Yi, drew the blanket back up, and got down from the bed.

The little maid was clearly uneasy as well, but her face was not especially complicated. She simply put on her clothes at the foot of the bed, fastened the buttons, and slipped out the door. Not long after, a scattered trickle of water sounded outside—most likely washing her face and hands, rinsing her mouth. In the still night, crickets cried in the grass.

Xian quietly opened the door and came back in, quietly closed it, took off her shoes, removed her clothes, climbed into bed, and lay back in Ning Yi’s arms, her body carrying the clean, fresh scent of water.

“This… isn’t quite right,” Ning Yi said softly.

“Master… master-in-law…” Xian shrank her neck slightly, her body stiffening.

Ning Yi smiled. “There’s no need for this…”

“But… but… this is what Xian should do in the first place, and… and Master-in-law is uncomfortable…”

Xian spoke softly. Ning Yi rubbed her hair. “Who taught you all this?”

“Be-before the wedding, a few aunts brought some pictures and said… said…”

Perhaps she had gathered her courage while doing it, but once caught red-handed, she could not go on. Turning in Ning Yi’s embrace, she lay facing him, her forehead pressed against his chest. After a long while, he heard her say, “Master-in-law… will you think Xian is ignorant, that Xian is unfilial? About Father…”

Ning Yi laughed. “Why would you say that?”

“Actually… Mother and my brother and sister-in-law all thought Xian had already been with Master-in-law… with Master-in-law… Um, when Mother and my brother and sister-in-law said Xian would share a room with Master-in-law, Xian felt… felt happy… After Father passed away, Xian actually didn’t feel… very sad…”

By the end, her voice had fallen.

Ning Yi held her by the shoulders and neck, silent for a long time.

“I can’t say whether it’s right or not, but I’m very happy.”

“Hm?” Xian blinked.

“Xian entered the Su household when she was four, right?”

She nodded.

“Xian thinks the Su family is more important. You think of yourself as the Su family’s maid, and you think… you think I’m uncomfortable. Although I’m very happy, it may be somewhat unfair to you…”

The little girl in his arms did not quite understand. She raised her head and looked at him, then blinked with some trouble. “But… b-but that’s how it should be. Xian was always supposed to do these things, and…” She leaned closer and lowered her voice slightly. “Xian likes Master-in-law…”

“That’s enough, then.”

“Then what Master-in-law said just now…”

“Heh, it’s nothing.” Ning Yi patted her shoulder. After a while, he said, “Still, there’s no harm in paying a little attention to some things. These few days… you don’t need to do it like that anymore.”

Xian obediently nodded. After a while, she said, “But if… if Master-in-law is uncomfortable…”

“Endure it a little; it’s fine. Your master-in-law is very capable, very steadfast. Otherwise, how could he be called Ning Yi?”

“But Xian doesn’t like Master-in-law enduring it…”

“I said it’s fine, so it’s fine. Don’t talk too much.”

“Oh.”

Silence. Then Xian’s voice drifted out in a tiny murmur.

“…Is Master-in-law enduring it right now?”

“...”

Ning Yi opened his eyes and let out a silent breath.

“Fine, I’ll go take a cold bath.”

“I’ll take Master-in-law there.”

“Lie down and don’t move.”

“Uh…”

“…I know where to bathe.”

“But…”

“Lie down and sleep.”

After severely reprimanding the overenthusiastic Xian, Ning Yi put on his clothes and went out. Only after closing the door did he curl his lip under the eaves. “A little test.” He walked a few steps, then shrugged and muttered to himself, “I’ve weathered so many storms. Who am I afraid of?” Then he strode off with great heroism toward the room at the end.

Not long after, he sighed, came back looking somewhat speechless, and pushed open the bedroom door.

Xian was lying properly on the inner side of the bed, her hands folded over her undergarments at the lower abdomen, sleeping quietly with her eyes closed like a mummy. Ning Yi sighed. “Xian, where’s the well? The water’s gone. I still need to go draw some.”

Xian was still asleep, eyes shut. After a while, her cute voice drifted out: “Xian is asleep.”

“...”

Ning Yi was stunned for a long moment, then spread his hands. How could there be a night that combined sorrow, beauty, and comedy all at once…

That night, he still had to follow Xian out to find a small stream fed by water from an upstream well, and there he took a cold bath. Of course, to call it following Xian was not very reliable; the master and servant slipped out secretly and did not alert Geng the guard or Dong Zhu in the neighboring courtyard. Then, relying on Xian’s memory, they tried to find the well, only to come up empty-handed.

Xian had not been back in South Pavilion Village for long, and at night she could not quite make out where the well was. The two of them then groped around in the dark until they found the stream and Ning Yi could finally wash. Since Xian stayed nearby keeping watch, there was no chance for a second release. When he got up the next morning, he felt he might have dark circles under his eyes.

Being able to return to the room afterward was already a kind of good fortune.

For Xian, at this moment there were perhaps two emotions living in her character.

Peaceful, sorrowful… She had been sold into the Su residence at the age of four, and her heart had long since settled there. As for this home in South Pavilion Village, when others spoke of it as her home and of the relatives there, she would send money back every year, bring things back to visit, and look after the people at home—calling them Father, Mother, brother, and sister-in-law. But how deep that sense of belonging truly ran, it was hard to say.

Over nearly twelve years, there had only been a little more than ten days spent together. For this girl, already fifteen and nearly sixteen, whether she would ever return to this family in the future, whether she would have thoughts of returning to her roots, was difficult to say. At least for now, she likely had very little of that. She already lived in the Su household; she was the Su family’s maid. She had many, many things to do for the Su family, to serve the young lady and master-in-law. These were natural duties. As for returning home, when she truly had free time, perhaps she would ask for leave and come back once. How much anticipation could there really be? Probably something like doing a necessary but not urgent task.

If her heart could be divided into two layers, the more important one would certainly belong to the Su family, while South Pavilion Village might only be a decoration. Her father had passed away; her sorrow was not false, but that sorrow did not belong to the more important layer. It was like hearing a small story while occupied with something important: one might sigh, or laugh, and then hurry off again.

That was why Ning Yi said it was not quite fair to her. But in this era, many people, Xian included, would probably think it was only natural. Only he could understand how precious it was for a person to be able to think wholeheartedly of themselves.

One day, if Xian grew older, grew old, and found life unsatisfactory, she might recall phrases like returning to one’s roots, and wonder what it would have been like if she had stayed with those family members back then. But for Ning Yi, he did not intend to give her that chance. A lifetime is a phrase that, many years later, becomes only drifting clouds. Right now, it was still something easier to realize.

Then came the fourth day of the funeral…

With chanting and singing in the mourning hall, keeping vigil every day, and simple social obligations, it was in truth a very tedious affair. Since some gift lists had been prepared, Ning Yi went together with Geng the guard and Dong Zhu during the day to visit the neighbors, delivering gifts house by house and thanking them for looking after Xian’s family. Afterward they chatted and talked. He carried himself easily and made all the proper courtesies, yet there was still a certain air of distance about him. After the visits, the praise from the others was basically unanimous. Ning Yi thought that if he were trying to woo the village girls or the like, he’d probably have a near-certain chance, and could not help feeling a little emotional.

“…Today my sister-in-law told my brother that the gifts we sent to Aunt Mu’s house were too valuable, and also said there was no need to give such nice gifts at all. If we could take back part of them to help with the household expenses, that would be best… But she was not comfortable saying it to me. My brother cares about saving face and was a bit inarticulate, so I pretended I didn’t understand…”

At night, they were still in the same room. Xian lay on her stomach on the bed, swinging her bare calves and dainty feet as she told him about what had happened.

The villagers all believed that Xian and Ning Yi had already become intimate. At this point Ning Yi did not plan to explain anything. Still, it was only sleeping; they would not do anything more. As for any discomfort, he would just endure it, and if one person were in the room, he could still wash up himself. Being together and talking like this actually felt quite nice, so at night Ning Yi divided the bed.

“You sleep inside, I’ll sleep outside.” Then he rolled the blanket into a long cord and placed it in the middle. “I’ll tell you a story.”

Xian shifted her prone body inward.

“Deep in the mountains, one day a girl had a guest arrive at her home—a boy who looked refined and proper, a true gentleman. It rained that day, so he asked to stay the night. Since the girl’s family only had one bed, in an emergency they decided to sleep together. After all, a gentleman is upright and aboveboard, and the other person also looked decent enough. They put a rope between them. The girl said that if the rope were messed up by morning, then you’d be a beast and not a gentleman at all. That girl was very beautiful, so that night the gentlemanly boy endured and endured and endured. The next morning, haha, the rope really hadn’t moved. He proudly lifted his head, and then slap—a hand came flying at him from the girl…”

“That boy was so sly. He must have messed it up at night, then found a way to straighten it again.”

“No, the girl scolded him: ‘You’re worse than a beast.’”

Ning Yi shrugged, and Xian laughed over there.

At dawn the next day, Xian was attached to his back like an octopus. Ning Yi turned slightly and felt he might have already flattened the girl, but Xian, soft as cotton candy, wriggled and wriggled her way out from behind him, then half-dazedly climbed onto his chest and continued sleeping.

The blanket was long gone.

On the afternoon of the fifth day, most of the people who needed to be visited had already been visited. Next would be two more days of waiting until the coffin was buried at the hour of the dragon the day after tomorrow. That afternoon in Jiangning City, by a river bend lined with fresh green willows, Nie Yunzhu, returning from the shop, noticed the old man who had set up a chess stall not far away and paused for a moment. They had exchanged greetings several times before and were considered acquainted. This time, the old man looked up with a smile and waved her over.

She bowed respectfully, then smoothed her perhaps slightly messy hair and trotted over to the chess stall, standing beside it and chatting with the old man with a smile.

The old man also stood, smiling. After a few words, he gestured to the opposite side, then asked the young girl at the nearby tea stall for a pot of tea. Once they sat down, beneath the willow shade, they began speaking of the man named Ning Liheng, who was currently in a remote mountain district. It was a good topic, and the old and the young, who might one day become father and daughter, now truly came to know one another.

A chess piece was placed, the first one…

At that very moment, Ning Yi was standing outside the kitchen of a large house thick with grime and odors, sniffing the fishy smell rising from huge pots of stew and feeling a bit of toothache at the roots. This was the evening dish considered best by everyone because it had meat in it, but to be honest, it really did not suit his taste…

He could endure hardship and even eat this sort of thing without changing expression while chatting and laughing, but that did not mean he truly liked it. Smelling the odor, he smiled and nodded, then turned to leave. Someone coming toward him thought he was very pleased with the smell.

“He’s the best cook in our village…”

“Heh, heh, heh…”

Sigh. Two days left…

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